Relationships are social associations, connections, or
affiliations between two or more people. They vary in differing levels of
intimacy and sharing, implying the discovery or establishment of common ground,
and may be centered around something(s) shared in common. The study of
relationships is of concern to sociology, psychology and anthropology.
Stages of formation
1) Contact:
a) Perceptual - notice how a person looks at the other and their body language.
b) Interactional cues - nodding, maintaining eye contact, etc.
c) Invitational - encouraging the relationship (e.g. asking if they want to meet
up later for coffee)
d) Avoidance strategies - if one person discloses and the other does not,
minimal response, lack of eye contact, etc.
2) Involvement
a) Feelers - hints or questions (ex. asking about family)
b) Intensifying strategies - further the relationship (ex. meeting old friend,
bringing the other to meet family, becoming more affectionate, etc.)
c) Public - seen in public together often (ex. if in a romantic relationship,
may be holding hands)
3) Intimacy - very close, may have exchanged some sort of personal belonging or
something that represents further commitment. (ex. may be a promise ring in a
romantic relationship or a friendship necklace symbolizing two people are best
friends)
4) Deterioration - things start to fall apart. In a romantic relationship,
typically after approximately six months, people are out of what is sometimes
referred to as the "honeymoon stage", NRE, or limerence and start to notice
flaws. The way this is addressed determines the fate of the relationship.
Types of interpersonal relationships
Kinship relationships, including family relationships, being related to someone
else by blood (consanguinity), e.g. fatherhood, motherhood; or through marriage
(affinity), e.g. father-in-law, mother-in-law, uncle by marriage, aunt by
marriage.
Formalized intimate relationships or long term relationships through law and
public ceremony, e.g. marriage and civil union.
Non-formalized intimate relationships or long term relationships such as loving
relationships or romantic relationships with or without living together; the
other person is often called lover, boyfriend or girlfriend (not to be confused
with just a male or female friend), or significant other. If the partners live
together, the relationship may be similar to marriage, and the other person may
be called husband or wife. In Scottish law they are so regarded by common law
after a time. Long term relationships in other countries are often erroneously
called common law marriages, although they have no special status in law.
Mistress is a somewhat old fashioned term for a female lover of a man who is
married to another woman, or of an unmarried man. She may even be an official
mistress (in French maîtresse en titre); an example is Madame de Pompadour.
Soulmates, individuals who are intimately drawn to one another through a
favorable meeting of the minds and who find mutual acceptance and understanding
with one another. Soulmates may feel themselves bonded together for a lifetime;
and, hence, they may be sexual partners but not necessarily.
Casual relationships, relationships extending beyond one night stands that
exclusively consist of sexual behavior, the participants of which may be known
as friends with benefits when limited to considering sexual intercourse or
sexual partners in a wider sense.
Platonic love is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does
not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise.
Friendship, which consists of mutual love, trust, respect, and unconditional
acceptance, and usually implies the discovery or establishment of common ground
between the individuals involved; see also internet friendship and pen pal.
Brotherhood and sisterhood, individuals united in a common cause or having a
common interest, which may involve formal membership in a club, organization,
association, society, lodge, fraternity or sorority. This type of interpersonal
relationship also includes the comradeship of fellow soldiers in peace or war.
Partners or coworkers in a profession, business, or a common workplace.
Participation in a community, for example, a community of interest or practice.
Association, simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by
interaction.
Factors
The discovery or establishment of common ground between individuals is a
fundamental component for enduring interpersonal relationships. Loss of common
ground, which may happen over time, may tend to end interpersonal relationships.
For each relationship type, essential skills are needed, and without these
skills more advanced relationships are not possible. Systemic coaching advocates
a hierarchy of relationships, from friendship to global order. Expertise in each
relationship type (in this hierarchy) requires the skills of all previous
relationship types. (For example partnership requires friendship and teamwork
skills).
Interpersonal relationships through consanguinity and affinity can persist
despite the absence of love, affection, or common ground. When these
relationships are in prohibited degrees, sexual intimacy in them would be the
taboo of incest.
Marriage and civil union are relationships reinforced and regularized by their
legal sanction to be "respectable" building blocks of society. In the United
States the de-criminalization of homosexual sexual relations in the landmark
Supreme Court decision, Lawrence v. Texas (2003) facilitated the "mainstreaming"
of gay long term relationships, and broached the possibility of the legalization
of same-sex marriages in that country.
In intimate relationships there is often, but not always, an implicit or
explicit agreement that the partners will not have sex with someone else -
monogamy. The extent to which physical intimacy with other people is accepted
may vary. For example, a husband may be more receptive to his wife being
physically affectionate with her female friend if she has one, other than with
her male friend (see also jealousy).
In friendship there is some transitivity: one may become a friend of an existing
friend's friend. However, if two people have a sexual relationship with the same
person, they may be competitors rather than friends. Accordingly, sexual
behavior with the sexual partner of a friend may damage the friendship. See love
triangle.
Sexual relations between two friends may alter that relationship by either
"taking it to the next level" or severing it. Sexual partners may also be
friends: the sexual relationship may either enhance or depreciate the
friendship.
The rise of popular psychology has led to an explosion of concern about one's
interpersonal relationships (often simply called: "relationships"). Intimate
relationships receive particular attention in this context, but Sociology
recognises many other interpersonal links of greater or less duration and/or
significance.
Relationships are not necessarily healthy. Unhealthy examples include abusive
relationships and codependence.
Sociologists recognize a hierarchy of forms of activity and interpersonal
relations, which divides them into: behavior, action, social behavior, social
action, social contact, social interaction and finally social relation.
Theories
Social psychology has several approaches to the subject of interpersonal
relationships, among them closure and also trust, as trust between parties can
be mutual. This may lead to enduring relationships.
Social exchange theory interprets relationships in terms of exchanged benefits.
The way people feel about relationships will be influenced by the rewards of the
relationship, as well as rewards they may potentially receive in alternate
relationships.
Systemic coaching analyzes relationships as expressions of our human need to
love and be loved. Relationships can be confused by transferences, entanglements
and substitution. Systemic coaching offers solutions for many relationship
difficulties.
Equity theory is based on criticism of social exchange theory. Proponents argue
that people care more than just maximizing rewards, they also want fairness and
equity in their relationships.
Relational dialectics is based on the idea that a relationship is not a static
entity. Instead, a relationship is a continuing process, always changing. There
is constant tension as three main issues are negotiated: autonomy vs.
connection, novelty vs. predictability, and openness vs. closedness.
Attachment styles are a completely different way of analyzing relationships.
Proponents of this view argue that attachment styles developed in childhood
continue to be influential throughout adulthood, influencing the roles people
take on in relationships.
Socionics and some other theories of psychological compatibility consider
interpersonal relationships as at least partly dependent on psychological types
of partners.
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